Mr. and Mrs. Fitzwilliam: Two Shall Become One
Over the course of time I have grown impervious to the negative reviews and comments about my novels. Readers come in all varieties. Opinions are myriad. This is to be expected. Readers share their less-than-favorable opinion on places like Amazon or Goodreads, just as those who loved my novel do. I will admit, however, that the gross exaggeration and false claims are a tad annoying. Semantics are a tricky thing, and one person’s “porn” is a sweet love scene to someone else! Nothing can be done to change that. All I can do is present the facts. Frankly, I believe the data below speaks for itself as to the veracity of some claims.
Answers to most of the questions/criticisms regarding the plot, Austen style, my inspiration, why the sensuality level, and more are answered here: Frequently Asked Questions
Total pages: 295
Total Word Count: 116,327
Time covered in the novel: approximately 6 months; November 28, 1816 to mid-May of 1817.
Total number of times it is mentioned that Darcy and Lizzy are having sex, or had sex, including vague allusions to the act that occur “off stage”: 25
Highest number of sexual encounters noted within one 24 hour period: 3
Number of times more than one sexual encounter is referenced as occurring within a 24 hour period: 4
Total number of pages (any portion of a page counted as one complete page) devoted to marital relations – i.e. “sex scenes” – including ALL foreplay, interludes of kissing/caressing/etc. that do not include actual sex, conversations while in bed whether romantic or not, and similar activity: 60-70
Longest passage with one sex scene: the wedding night consummation at 6 pages.
Places specifically mentioned where a sexual encounter occurs, aside from the Darcys’ bedchamber & bed: bathtub (1), Darcy’s dressing room (1), Lizzy’s dressing room (1), other room inside Pemberley (3) outside (1)
Snippets from negative – 1 to 2 star – reviews on Amazon specific to this novel–
Two thirds of the book is sexual filler…. 70 out of 295 is <1/4th
gratuitous sex scenes and the over-the-top, repetitive declaration of endearments…
These two saps just run around having hideously boring sex with each other in every location they can find–they do it constantly… 25 times in 6 months
they never get out of bed… never? really?
Every page contains a dozen of mushy & corny speeches… “every” page?
reduced him (Darcy) to a sappy, overly romantic man with extremely high libido…
I felt like I was reading a porn magazine by how fake and unrealistic the martial sex between Darcy and Elizabeth…
Essentially the book is a series of bedroom scenes, actually the same scene presented over and over again…
Mr. Darcy is represented as a poor, horny, love drunk man and Elizabeth a slut…. sooo, enjoying married relations makes one a slut
I cannot believe how this woman can openly state that the characters had sex every 5 min… Ummm, I never said any such thing
an abundance of explicit, graphic sex…
the words “bewitched” and “ardent” appear so many times in the text that I wish I had a way to tally them. Used more than those two words combined is “groan,” as in, what Darcy often does…. groan/groans/groaned/groaning 23 times, bewitched 3, ardent/ardently 14
Number of times the following words and phrases appear in the novel, in all the various usages/definitions possible, out of the total word count of 116,327—
I love you 61
my dear 18
my heart 30
my soul 6
my precious 7
my love 90
my wife 34
my husband 11
make love 4
sex 3, all referring to gender
Read the following at own risk. Language alert!
Words that DO NOT appear in this novel: erection, penis, cock, butt, ass, f**k, orgasm, climax, intercourse, and any other crude, graphic, or explicit word.
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